Identity


Since this blog is here to deal mostly with sexuality and gender issues, in relation to kinky sexuality and the BDSM lifestyles, I thought that I should take a moment to explain where I am coming from. I tend to believe that one’s identities are the glasses through which they see the world, and I thought maybe giving you my prescription would help you understand me, and my viewpoints a bit better. (I went too far with that analogy, didn’t I?) This shouldn’t be seen as the complete description of my identity. My identity is far more complex and fluid than these words would allow. So, please just use it as a starting point for understanding me.

Kinky Sexuality:

  • I identify as a consensual, sissy, service-oriented slave to a Princess who lives many miles away from myself. That is, I have chosen the life of slave with someone who I care about very highly, I strongly enjoy gender play and the control that it comes with, and I tend to enjoy the acts of serving (especially in high-protocol ways) more than being tied up. I also live in a 24/7 D/s relationship with my Princess. Meaning, she has control over me whenever she wants it, whether it is 4:00 or 16:00, whether I am sick or well, whether I am tired or excited.
  • Although I don’t tend to get my scene time in (due to long distance and personality), I am typically the bottom when it does happen; however, my scene status is quite fluid. That is, I can, and do top people when my Princess allows/wants me to.
  • I have had experience being the Dominant in the relationship, and once identified as a switch; however, at the moment, Princess has been feeling Dominant for quite sometime, and I definitely enjoy the thought of being the submissive from now on. I am sure that things will change again in the future (because of that fluidity thing), but at the moment I am glad, proud, and thankful to be a slave.

Sexuality:

  • I identify as pansexual. I feel that all bodies are beautiful and that all people have the ability to be wonderful, the rest is just about luck, chance, or chemistry. If I happen to connect with someone on a deep and meaningful level, it will not matter to me about the gender, age, race, (dis)ability status, size, sex, or whatever else, of the person.
  • Also, both Princess and I are poly, or non-monogamous. At the moment, my Princess is my only sexual, and emotional, partner; however, we both understand that loving more than one person at a time is possible, and forcing oneself to love only one person at a time can be mentally unhealthy. We don’t tend to actively look for people to join our relationship, but if we happen to find someone who is a good fit, we probably would ask.

Gender:

  • I tend to be quite gender fluid. It seems that my gender is always in flux. Sometimes I enjoy like acting like a girly girl, sometimes a tomboy, sometimes a sissy, sometimes something else. It really just depends on my mood at the time and, of course, what Princess wants. You may have noticed that I tend to identify more with the feminine terms. This is true, and the main reason I prefer the feminine pronouns (she, her, and hers).

Activism:

  • I don’t tend to label myself a feminist, unless in a space where I feel that I only have the time for one label, with little to no explanation. I feel that feminism brings a lot to the table and should be listened to more than they are; however, I feel that feminism, more in name than in practice, is inherently narrow, and prejudicial. I have always felt that feminism strives to put gender at the forefront of the debates for equality among people, but I tend to feel that gender needs to be talked about more in the relation to other forms of prejudice than alone, or first. Also, I know full well that the term, while constantly changing in meaning, was not developed with people like myself in mind. So, I feel that identifying as a feminist would be co-opting a great movement for a label that more people would understand.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s